[friends don't invite you to something]
cr1tikal voice: alright I'll go fuck myself then

n-nightingale:

Working in customer service

gowns:

We want big boob…. not too big, gross

we like small perky boob… not too little, gross

no don’t get fake ones!!!! gross!

oh your boobs are just like…hanging there…grosss…

and also…… every boob is just so dang sexy like i can’t see a mom giving an infant milk or my boner will rupture right through my chinos

abi-pop:

This made me so emotional and have tears :3 *gif*

toatorixthetimelord:

You’re bleeding because you don’t floss.

a practical guide to becoming a true pun master

animeteen:

  1. accept that no pun is actually Good, but that the true nature of a good pun is to be so terrible that it becomes good.
  2. say every pun that occurs to you. i’m so serious about this, sometimes the most well received puns will be ones you considered not saying.
  3. ALWAYS laugh at your own puns, even if nobody else is. (especially if nobody else is.)
  4. know that you are hilarious. puns are a limitless resource and you have taken it as your duty to bring this gift to humanity. you are a hero.

themselfff:

I WANT MORE MUPPETS ON MY DASH

東京